Social Media Is Killing My Self-Esteem

I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling like my life is pretty mediocre?

I feel like I’m not amounting to anything; like I’m doing nothing exciting with my life. Last night I just sat in the flat feeling like ‘what is the point in even trying?’

I don’t know where everyone is finding the time and the energy to get everything done in a working week. I constantly feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get simple tasks done such as cooking my tea and watching a TV show before bed. Never mind actually having the time to go to an exercise class or write a blog, or spend some time with my boyfriend on top of that.

You highflyers – where are you finding the time in the day??

Oh wait, you Instagram bloggers probably are students and don’t have full-time jobs… well that answers that question!

Blogging Has Become So Mainstream It’s Not Fun Anymore

I started blogging about five years ago, just for fun. I have always enjoyed writing so I started it just as a hobby. I didn’t know if anyone was reading it (I still don’t), but it was for me mainly, anyhow.

In the past two years, blogging has become this massive platform. A legion of girls are now blogging with the hopes of making money from it – and AWESOME for them! But when you don’t have the time to write a couple of posts every week or utilize social media to get plenty of people reading your blog, it becomes very disheartening.

When all you wanted to do was write a load of ramblings and now you need to have a kick-ass Instagram to boot, it kinda sucks the fun out of it.

Can I just write whatever rubbish I want without having people compare me to others?

Social Media Is Killing My Self-Esteem

The other day I went into Urban Outfitters (a place where I never buy anything, I just like thinking about how cool I could maybe dress if I was hip and 15 again, with endless amounts of money). I saw this leopard print top that caught my eye and went to grab it. As soon as I realised that it was a crop top I put it straight back and my brain went ‘you don’t deserve to wear that’. And I stopped.

Wait, WHAT??

Why did my brain say those ugly words? ‘You don’t deserve to wear that.’

I am a size 6/8 UK dress size but because I don’t have abs, my brain automatically decided I couldn’t wear it.

I would like to state for the record that I do not believe that anybody of any size should not wear whatever the hell they want. Size 6 or size 16, if you want to wear a crop top then wear that crop top! So why did my brain automatically think I wasn’t worthy?

Oh wait, because the ‘perfect’ body is paraded in front of me every single day, everywhere I go. I see perfectly edited bodies in bikinis on my phone when I mindlessly scroll through Instagram, on giant posters as I walk down the street, and on any website I visit, I get advertisements for clothing stores with ‘perfect’ models showing off clothes.

So this ‘ideal’ is drilled into my subconscious nearly every second of every day.

Not to mention, everybody complains about how they should go to the gym more (or brags about how much they go to the gym). So I know that I’m not the only one feeling the pressure.

My friends and I often complain about our hang-ups on our bodies. We are 25 and we will probably never have such good bodies again, and we are all complaining about our lumps and bumps. We try on a dress and get upset about the curves of our bodies in the dress. Like, what?! That’s called your ‘skin’.

Is my body working? Just about…

Am I eating healthily? Most of the time…

Do I keep active? Fairly…

Then my body is fine.

Be grateful for what your body does for you every day rather than being disappointed in it because it doesn’t look like a highly edited picture on Instagram. Those bodies aren’t real anyway!

Facebook Is Making Me Feel Left Behind

Now I know I’m not alone in this one…

Every time I log onto Facebook there is a new engagement, a new pregnancy announcement, a new dream job achieved, a new friend off traveling the world etc. etc.

Is there anyone else out there who isn’t married, having babies or living the dream? Or is it just me?

While I love seeing good things happening for people, the constant daily updates feel like a daily reminder that I’m in the same place I was when I was 21 years old. Sure, I haven’t lived under a rock by any means, but I haven’t had any exciting updates to tell my friends about my life either in a long time.

When I see my friends they’re like, “How’re things? Anything new going on with you?” And I’m like “NOPE.”

My name is Elisha. I’m 25, back living around where I grew up, not working as a performer, and I still go clubbing at Viper Rooms from time to time. I’m pretty much who I was at 18, the only difference is I’ve developed a few wrinkles and a minor alcohol-addiction since then.

Facebook feels like a never-ending competition to prove to the people you went to school with that you are living a happy, successful life. And I feel left behind.

So It’s Time To Troubleshoot…

Feeling unsuccessful in blogging – Just write whatever you want, whenever you want. Use social media when you have time and don’t stress over the number of ‘followers’ you have. There are way more important things in life.

Feeling self-conscious about the way you look – The sexiest thing is confidence. Nobody cares what you look like apart from you. Nobody sees the ‘imperfections’ you see; most people are too busy focusing on their own issues to even notice yours.

Feeling left behind in life – There is no to-do list in life. There is no time frame you have to do things in. As long as you are happy right now then that is all that matters. And if you feel like you have to prove something, ask yourself why and then target that problem. Unfriend people you feel like you have to ‘prove something’ to.

Nobody shows their unglamorous every-day life on social media; only the exciting things. So don’t compare your low days to other people’s high days. Nobody’s life is perfect.

8 Comments

  1. Bunny Reachover
    August 17, 2018 / 3:37 pm

    Interesting read. I think that behind the facade of Instagram, everyone is fighting a battle, no matter how big or small, and people do a very good job at hiding it. I call it the “Cosmo lifestyle”, the life that the glossy mags tell us we should be having when I fact, it’s all fiction. You should never be ashamed of your journey, you just don’t do things to exaggerate your lifestyle, which is great!

    • ElishaAinsley
      Author
      August 22, 2018 / 4:12 pm

      I love that ‘cosmo lifestyle’ – I’m going to start using that! Nobody’s life is picture perfect; some people are just better at editing.

  2. August 22, 2018 / 9:33 am

    This is such a good post. I can relate to every single point. I started blogging 4 years ago purely because I love writing, but the blogging world has definitely changed. I’m all for making money/having a lovely Instagram but I see those things as extras and I certainly do not focus on them. Blogging/social media should always be about enjoyment. It’s ok to take a break/only go online when you want to.

    Megan | https://meganelizabethlifestyle.com/

    • ElishaAinsley
      Author
      August 22, 2018 / 4:11 pm

      I agree, if it’s your passion then it shouldn’t ever become a chore. Write what you want, when you want 🙂

  3. August 22, 2018 / 1:37 pm

    I love this post because I felt like this at a point. I use to feel like I was missing out on so much because I see people going out and having fun while I’m at work and at school struggling to stay awake . I use to always see couples and think to myself what’s wrong with me why am I single ? . But then when I saw my followers in real life , they were not as happy as they looked on their social media . Sometimes people are so unhappy with their life that they use social media to create the life they want to have . Sometimes it gets to me but I always snap into reality because like you said followers do not always matter , and how people view you does not matter. As long as you impact people on your blog ( like you’re doing right now ) it does not matter . You can make money from blogging , but that should not be your reason to start. You should blog because your passionate about it . Passion always wins over greed. I think you’re doing great keep it up and keep that voice negative voice out of your head.

    • ElishaAinsley
      Author
      August 22, 2018 / 4:11 pm

      It really is so easy to get sucked into what you see on social media and assume that it’s how people are always living their lives. But it is always good to remind ourselves that our lives are fulfilling without having glossy pictures to prove it 🙂

  4. August 22, 2018 / 9:12 pm

    Glad I came across your blog post. 🙋‍♀️ *hands up* not yet married and don’t have babies. I am around your age and do see a lot of engagement, wedding and pregnant photos. I do feel pressured at times as the big 30 is fast approaching and I’m here in the middle trying to work my ass of and trying to make time for everything. It is hard work but you are right in saying that as long as you are happy you do not need to feel pressured by what is happening around you. Great post and this is so relateable. 👍

    • ElishaAinsley
      Author
      September 1, 2018 / 10:28 am

      Thank you Kaye, that is so wonderful to hear. I think that women feel the pressure that little bit more because we want to achieve so much nowadays since we have the opportunities that women before didn’t have. We just have to be careful not to let other people’s journey’s influence our own and make us feel like we are accomplishing less. Because we are bossing life – we just need to remember it sometimes! 🙂

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